The Woman, her Pron, and her Drive

I've been reading around a lot lately and this whole debate on pron is really bumming me out. Sometimes I think ignorance is bliss. I like pron. Always have. I don't need it or anything but I guess it's the seeing of things/acts that aren't supposed to be seen.
Sex, I have learned, who's fcuking whom, where, when - is one of those hands off kind of subjects. As long as no one is getting hurt.
I think that if you really want to get to know your man, check out what type of pron he likes. It can be quite revealing. For instance, my significant other tends to trade pron a lot with his cousins. Bet you I can tell you which cousin he got it from just by the quality and content of the pron. If it has lots of Latina's you can be sure he got it from his cousin with the Mexican girlfriend. If its really ghetto then he got it from his hood rat lovin cousin (his term not mine). Sad but true. Mine loves the big booty variety. The list goes on and on. I know a little more than I should but for the most part I am dead on about his sources. I'm pretty sure these guys aren't woman haters thinking to themselves whilst choking their chickens "ooooh these Brazilian hotties have no other economical choices than to be objectified by my patriarchal self gratification and capitalistic power of purchase. What a turn on!!" Naw, I think they basically zone in their actress of choice in whatever fave position of choice, fantasize and commence to self abuse. They hide their pron in shame from their women.
This is not to say that I haven't seen some offensive things too. The wonderful thing about pron is just like sex, if you don't like it then don't do it, don't watch it, and for chrissake don't buy it!! I am a very visual person so the pron variety that I like, I buy. Some I share with my man, some I sneak and watch when have time and am alone (which is very few and far in between).

Which brings me to the subject of drive... I get accused of being a nypho cause I can be a horn dog sometimes. Sometimes I guess my drive can be described as masculine. When I like what I see, I speak up on it. Sometimes my man can walk by and I will notice what first attracted me to him and I still get heart flutters and a little flushed. I can't tell him that though. He says I am objectifying him and he doesn't quite know how to handle it. Mind you we've been together for 8 years going on 9 this summer. I say hey equal opportunity sexual exploitation, deal with it. He loves when I dress sexy, loves to see the hungry stares from other men looking in my direction, loves to shoot those appreciative looks of desire my way himself. But since I am born woman, it feels uncomfortable for me to do the same.

Exposed tits in a movie? Man I almost cried real tears when Hallie Berry showed hers in Swordfish. He says beautiful. Penises on film -- gross. Anybody seen that man meat in Any Given Sunday??? Football players naked yum. Or how's about giving Terrance Howard a round of applause for displaying his hidden attributes in Get Rich or Die Trying???? First sex symbol actor dick I ever saw exposed in my little life. Lets move forward Americans and show me your money maker!!! LOL!! I kid a little but seriously whats all the mystery around the dick? I say lets even it out a little so that we can all relax and appreciate the relief fantasy gives without the god damn guilt trips. Quit selling this Lifetime soap opera sex bullshit to our little girls. It is not that pretty, clean, or painless. Sex can be confusing, painful, ugly(I am scared to think what my fuck face looks like), definitely dirty (in a good way). I think more women should objectify their men. Even it up a bit. I just can't take all the sad stories about pron though. Its starting to fuck with me. I don't want be thinking about how the patriarchy has brainwashed me into thinking that I think this mans impressively thick penis is hot because that is the way they want me to think or that lipstick dykes are sexy when they kiss. When I am in the mood for sex and all its trappings - I must tell you - my feminism goes straight out the door.

Stigma

You can't say I am not thorough. When I do well, I excel. When I screw up, I fuck up in the most superb fashion.

Ok... Here's the problem..

A few years ago, I took responsibility for a crime to keep someone else out of jail. I know, I know, stupid right? Misdemeanor offense, non-violent, no stealing or nothing but serious enough that it gives me the willies just thinking about it. Well now every time I look for a job, apartment, whatever that shit bites me in the ass. Awwww man, its almost traumatizing, looking for work. You know when you get to the part on the application where it asks " Do you have any felonies or misdemeanors in the past 7 years?" -- its at this point where you have to decide whether or not to lie. Do they check it?? If they do you are out of a job, you've lost all credibility. If you answer honestly, you are out of a job before you even get a face to face. The reasons your application is denied are colorful and varied but the bottom line is why even consider a person with a mar on their record when there are so many people looking for work?

So this conundrum got me to thinking.... How the fuck does real criminal who wants to change their life find a job?? If you commit a crime how long are you supposed to pay for your sins. You fuck up, you pay a fine, serve a sentence and then set out into the world to compensate for the time you lost and pull together some semblance of a life. How do you support yourself?? How tempting the return to crime must be?!! How many times has crime become a necessary function of survival even knowing what the consequences are?

I really want to work. I never expected, wanted, accepted a handout from nobody. I invest my time, dedicate myself, and as I said, excel in what I do. Here's to fighting this long uphill battle.


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What CAN our kids do?

Increasingly I am finding myself agitated with that question. What can our kids do? Here in Milwaukee there are more laws, rules, and regulations about what our children can't do and where they can't be than ever. I mean really if your parents are not rich and can't afford the HIGH ass YMCA, Boys & Girls Club, AAU (athletic clubs) memberships then what activities are out there for your tween and teen aged kids?? In Milwaukee, there are no rollerskating rinks in the inner city or even on a bus line that the kids can go to safely, no bowling within walking distance. What of the movies you might ask??? The classic teen congregation at the mall?? In my day there was the Grand Movie theater downtown, Northtown (a dump today), Northridge, Capitol Court, Mill Road , Villard theaters, The Budget theater (for non-new releases), and the Drive in if you had a car full; all gone. Kids are too violent they say, too rowdy, dangerous. The Malls don't even want the kids there. Mayfair mall says that if you are under 17 you cannot enter their mall after 2pm on Friday and Saturday with out someone over 21. ACORN is now filing suit with over 40 harassment complaints from  black CHILDREN, that have been followed, searched, and kicked out of that mall without just cause. Remember the freedom of getting your first car rounding up some friends and driving around?? Not here in Milwaukee after 8pm. Drive down a street more than twice and you will get a ticket. No place for teens to congregate. More than three together at a time - ohmygod its a gang!! These are our kids. I mean what the fuck? Did we not create these beings? Won't we need them one day? Are we supposed to be afraid of ever fucking thing????!!! These are not pets that we are talking about here that were once reeeealy cute puppies. Now they are big and not so cute. These are our kids. They are what we mold and made them into. Don't like it? Tough tit. Maybe we are the ones that still have a whole lot of growing up to do.

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