Stigma

You can't say I am not thorough. When I do well, I excel. When I screw up, I fuck up in the most superb fashion.

Ok... Here's the problem..

A few years ago, I took responsibility for a crime to keep someone else out of jail. I know, I know, stupid right? Misdemeanor offense, non-violent, no stealing or nothing but serious enough that it gives me the willies just thinking about it. Well now every time I look for a job, apartment, whatever that shit bites me in the ass. Awwww man, its almost traumatizing, looking for work. You know when you get to the part on the application where it asks " Do you have any felonies or misdemeanors in the past 7 years?" -- its at this point where you have to decide whether or not to lie. Do they check it?? If they do you are out of a job, you've lost all credibility. If you answer honestly, you are out of a job before you even get a face to face. The reasons your application is denied are colorful and varied but the bottom line is why even consider a person with a mar on their record when there are so many people looking for work?

So this conundrum got me to thinking.... How the fuck does real criminal who wants to change their life find a job?? If you commit a crime how long are you supposed to pay for your sins. You fuck up, you pay a fine, serve a sentence and then set out into the world to compensate for the time you lost and pull together some semblance of a life. How do you support yourself?? How tempting the return to crime must be?!! How many times has crime become a necessary function of survival even knowing what the consequences are?

I really want to work. I never expected, wanted, accepted a handout from nobody. I invest my time, dedicate myself, and as I said, excel in what I do. Here's to fighting this long uphill battle.


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